Unfolding the Light

What things/thoughts/feelings/experiences do I habitually reject?
What things/thoughts/feelings/experiences do I habitually idealize?-
These two questions define the Great Work by which we progress through the Dimensions of I-dentity and Awareness
and into Spaces of Consciousness
with greater Breadth and Depth
until
the individual and the Universal
are
One; Not-Two.

ॐ मणि पद्मे हूँ,
(Om mani padme hum)

Those who resist giving in to the undertow and sacrificial fire of functional conformity as a natural consequence of their character, like an immune response to a ubiquitous pathogen, are compelled, even forced, through varieties of manipulative methods, to become subservient, not because it is right, but because such resistance represents a persistent and disturbing warning to those who are inclined to give in that what they have sacrificed themselves to is in fact meant to be resisted or exited and that in giving in they have chosen incorrectly. It is easier to marginalize the resistors and deny their nature and choices validity than it is to make the greater effort of Repentance, or turning away and back toward the Truth. Denial, ignorance and avoidance are always easier. It is a grave and tragic error to equate or associate ease, comfort, and community validation with the True, the Good and the Beautiful.

What we are able to Perceive and Know is limited by the nature of our Being.  The extent and range of our Being is defined and determined by the Quality of our engagement in the Process of Transformation and the degree of Freedom or Space our sense of Identity is founded upon.

There is a knowing that occurs through the mediator of feeling and emotion. There is a knowing that occurs through the medium of Reason, through the functions of thought and representation. But the greatest form of Knowing or Perceiving occurs beyond the reach of feeling, thought, apprehension and impression, past the gates of Paradox and Confusion- this kind of Knowing is that which is only accessible through Identification with the Object or Other.

Denying the existence of Spiritual Realities is akin to a sea-dwelling organism denying the existence of the Water out of which the Ocean in which it lives and breathes, and upon which it most truly depends, is made.

In the simplest terms, Awakening is the Process of moving from living life to being lived by Life Itself, from living life as an object reinforced through the conditioning of habit-force, to Realizing that we are processes of variable contractions from Original Consciousness meant to exhale and expand into Growth into Becoming the Process Itself, Awakening to Emptiness Ever-Present through the All and Falling Forward as the Witness.

There are many ‘standards of measurement’ by which we may determine our ‘progress’ on or as the Path, such as: the degree and depth to which we are free from fear; our ability to accept the experiences we are given, rather than separate them into pleasant and unpleasant as a matter of priority, avoiding the later and chasing the former; our ability to transform the suffering in life into the fertilizer for the new growth to come; the degree to which we are able to embrace with compassion and sacrifice for the service to another; the manifestation of our autonomous potential; and our freedom and versatility of perception and thought. 

The quintessential transitions in the process of Spirituality are moving from viewing God as Object or Other, to apprehending or Identifying with God as Subject or Witness, to Immersing into God-as-Atmosphere.

All things and beings are fragments of an Original Whole seeking Re-Union with one another. The entirety of Creation is a vast production of the struggle for Re-Union.

As one Progresses, the core statements of self-affirmation and self-definition change thusly from-

I feel, therefore I am; to-

I think, therefore I am; to-

I am, therefore I am; to-

Consciousness, therefore I am; to-

Consciousness, therefore there is; to-

Consciousness, therefore Becoming.

As each shift occurs, the presupposition of the ‘I’, or self-identity, dissipates and expands until there is an Awareness that Consciousness Exists and Becomes without center or limitation.

The more of Being and experience we avoid, the greater the obscurity of our perception becomes. This leads to the creation of the persistent illusion of distance and separation from Reality, causing a genuine and deep-set feeling of loss of Contact or Access, a tenacious impression of the need for a mediator or bridge to re-connect us to that which we have lost- the Essential.

We are bonded by our ubiquitous feeling that something is missing, an emptiness or absence present that needs to be filled for us to be Real Again. Our error lies in attempting to fill this space with substitutes or cover it over with disguises of denial and fashioned appearance in order to avoid opening ourselves to its Presence and Meaning. Without so opening, we can never understand that it is not an emptiness to be filled, covered over, hidden or compensated for. It is a Symbol for the Emptiness that we are meant to Become.

The Quality of all character and Being can be justly determined by perceiving and discerning the reaction in the presence of the Unknown and the response to confrontation with the Unknowable.

All imposition, forceful intervention and manipulative effort, no matter how cunning, artful or subtle, lead to a dissolution of Order and Progress, for such ways violate the Supreme Principle of Emanative Creation which is Freewill. And though the paths and workings of Freewill can often seem cruel, destructive and chaotic, even to a degree that seems to chart a clear course directly to death and despair, the Path of Freewill is ever-moving toward the Light Still, even in its darkest turns and most shadowy movements. Even those who would seek with their every intention to subvert the Good, work for and toward the Good, yet know it not.

The knowledge of Ends and Purpose has been taken from those in who dwells the seeds of corruption.  

The Gift and Grace of Freedom limits the privilege of extension in temporal existence.

Because temporal existence is defined by transience and distance from Absolute, even if such qualities are illusory; sorrow, suffering and pervasive unsatisfactoriness inevitably grow proportional to one’s dependence upon, association and identification with such existence.

Grief and fear are indeed fatal conditions, yet far more potent than the fatality of bodily death, for they can kill while leaving one in a state where the basic mechanics and appearances of life appear to be in tact, yet the Light of Awareness and Energies of Being which truly characterize Life have all but departed, leaving the individual in a condition of ‘waking death’ defined by disconnection, denial and a persistent reversal of Value. As the population of such beings grows, a critical mass of inertia is reached where beyond the world becomes a photographic negative of itself.

The Symbols and Seeds of Salvation reside cleverly hidden enfolded within forms unattractive to the Sleeping self of divided egoity and in spaces to which only the Light and Being Within can gain access. When we feel an impulse of discomfort or repulsion or a compulsion to avoid an experience, that is when it is imperative for us to pause, open our Eyes, and step back into Perspective to Look again. For therein often does lie latent Images which if extracted from their context and embraced in understanding may build the Pattern of Salvation which alone moves us toward Completion and away from Servitude.

My one greatest fear is that, in spite of the many years of days that have passed and the myriad diverse and numerous efforts that I have expended and exhausted, there is something living within me, thriving on my energy, persisting through the light of awareness, whose only drive and desire is to destroy me- and up until now, it has possessed the momentum of victory. I am aware that I, as personality, and this destructive element are both a part of this present identity. But I can neither reconcile them nor can I tolerate their separation. Either this war will be the death of me or it will be the end of me. This death is full of promise, even while possessing the greatest challenge imaginable, for this is the death of the self that opens the womb in which the True Self may be born to Waking Life. The end of me, on the other hand, is the end of promise, the surrender to the final fold of avoidance. This is the end after which there will be no new beginning. Ultimately, it comes down to choice: Will I finally Let Go into death and invite Life in to Empty and Fill At Once? Or will I fail to fall and pass away into a sleeping existence resulting from what amounts to spiritual starvation?- This is living between the twin horns of Dilemma.

The worldly life is defined by people mistaking the branch for the Root, and neglecting the Root in preference for the branch, which leads to the characteristic struggle to plant the Tree of Life upside-down. The Path of Awakening, through death of self to re-birth of the New Life, involves the Great Task of cutting down this wrongly-planted tree, uprooting its stump, burning all to cinder and ash, and planting the new Tree of Life rightly- in fertile and well-tended soil- from acorn to the Fullness of All Manifestation.

When we Let Go into the Origin and the Process of the Path, the Ultimate End arises on and Of its own, as it is Always Ever-Present. When we focus on the goal, we continually re-condition the self, and the Ultimate End can never be 'reached' or Apprehended. If the Ground is prepared, if the Seed is carefully placed and planted, that it may be allowed to fully inhabit the Origin, and it is cared for with No-self through Unfolding, the Fruit and Flower Emerge Naturally, with no-effort and no obstruction- There Is No Other.

The One is found neither in seeking nor in walking straight lines and ordered paths, but when we let our mind go and our spirit wander- when we stumble back to the ground of unparalleled dynamic liberation; when we walk untravelled paths and roads with no map to follow; when we fall and let ourselves go completely into the experience of being who we are deep within and go well beyond the boundaries of who we think we need to be.  

The mind that seeks is ultimately the mind that binds. The spirit finds itself when one ceases and remembers that everywhere and everywhen we are holds all of the truth we need to know and is rightly called our peace and our home.

So peel the rind off of every experience with passion and grace. Feed on the nectar that overflows into the essence of the life we are given. Pluck out the seed with great care and settle it down in the well-tilled earth of thankfulness and love that the cycle of existence and the great chain of being may continue to resonate into eternity.

Give honor to the source and the fountainhead of creation.

Now find what never ceases to reside directly with the field of Awareness- that Light-That-Knows-No-Bounds.

In losing our self, we attain the Universe.

When one uses quantity as their first guide and only acknowledges the material, and those things which lead to it as an end, as being real and of significance, inevitably, it appears as if living a half-life is better than living no life at all. This is a place and a state of worldview that falls in love with its slavery, covers its prison cell with fashion and finery and calls it freedom. This is a perspective that learns to enjoy feeding only on the scraps from the table, all the while dancing between the twin horns of denial and repression, simply because it is that way of being which gains approval, simply because it is the direction in which the herd travels- even if that direction leads to a cliff. But rather than Awaken, rather than open one’s eyes and endure the first pains of the truth to train oneself to love the light for its own sake, one moves to escape the revelations that arrive with stillness, one increases the volume of distraction and misdirection and sedates the mind and perception so as not to be troubled by the sharp edge of the Real. And the truth is that it is easier to keep shut one’s eyes, to chase comfort as one’s high value over truth or life, and to cover over the consequences and pain that serve as warning of the danger of the inauthenticity of the dream than it is to turn away and around to face the Light. 

I feel like I have been living in a world where we have forgotten how to breathe, where we have been trained and conditioned to hold our breath for so long that anyone who finds such a way of life unsavory is condemned or marginalized or encouraged to interpret themselves as somehow broken or maladaptive. What a topsy-turvy place, where seeking to breathe the free air is a threat and an oddity.

I am frustrated and exhausted. I am tired of going in circles and feel I have reached the point wherebeyond I utterly lack the ability to stay asleep at the wheel and just keep on keeping on because…well, just because. For my whole life I have been stuck on the outskirts of what I was told is the responsible way to live. I had accepted, or rather submitted, to the idea that something within me was broken and needed fixing so that I could join the ranks of those who followed what is acceptible. Since my adolescence I have submitted myself to therapies and therapists of many and various kinds, pills and potions representing constellations of chemicals and colors. I have tried coming at this life both from straight ahead and from every angle I could think of- yet all within the confines of and toward that which I was encouraged to believe as the acceptible way of life.

It took me a terribly long time, and it was a painfully slow process, to realize and come awake to the fact that the anxieties, fears, pain, discomforts and ‘handicaps’ were for the most part not originated from some antiquated set of emotional reactions to trauma, but arose and persist as a result of an especially strong sensitivity and an intense inborn intolerance I seem to have for inauthenticity. I realize that there was a far more significant portion of my responses to ‘stress and reality’ that existed as a way of warning me that there was something terribly wrong, not with me, but with that system of things to which I was struggling to adapt myself. When one is immersed in a dangerous or unhealthy environment, resistance to it is a natural response, regardless of whether such difficulty in adapting is common or not. There are persons who are ill and societies which are ill, and while it is far easier to marginalize a maladaptive person than it is to acknowledge that one’s environment is toxic, it is a grave error to equate ease, or comfort or popularity, with right. There is a time to make a decision and chose a direction simply because it is right, regardless of whether or not it is difficult or terrifying, even to the point of appearing ’crazy’. Most brave are those who make such a choice. So far, I am not one of them, but I am working on it.  

Resonating with you
my world blossoms open
like a flower
long-forgotten
finally flowing into bloom.

A universe full of stars,
ancient seeds of light and wonder
exploding outward
germinating time
in the vibrant womb of
Quintessential Mind.


There is a beauty untold
that stands in authority
at the source
pulling our souls
Irresistible.